How to Overcome Your Fears and Quadruple the Rewards

Photo by George Pagan III on Unsplash

It took me many years to accept it and stop feeling guilty about it. There was no sign to follow and I had messed up. All of my life, I was a success, but suddenly I felt like an absolute failure. I had spent five years studying electrical engineering and I had only achieved a passing grade in 17 of the 60 classes of the school.

The major blow was letting my parents now. I could see the frustration in their eyes. They had spent years saving every dime, in order for me to achieve something better in life and everything went to waste. It is hard to describe in words, how devastated I felt back then. Letting others know was the most difficult part.

Fast forward 3 years later.

I managed to complete the remaining of the classes in a year and a half.

Through a volunteer opportunity, I made some connections and got a job as a junior underpaid software engineer, in a medium-sized company.

It was much harder than it sounds. Greece was going through an intense financial crisis. The unemployment rate was around 26% overall and 55% regarding people under 25 years old.

Now I am a well-respected software engineer in a multinational company, earning good money with a great future waiting to unfold.

I never stopped thinking how all of that could be possible. What had I changed, what had I become in order to achieve all this? How can I use all this to help other people who feel like myself back then?

Well, I never felt a good writer, not even an average one. However, I decided to give it a go. Even if, just a single person benefits from that, then it worth the hustle.

So here I am. Trying to put all this in guidelines to follow.

What is important to you? Why?

First, deciding what was important was the most important of all. In order to find energy and drive, you need a reason. The bigger the leap, the bigger the reason you need. For me, it was being able to make my own decisions. I needed freedom. Financial freedom, expression freedom, freedom to choose the life I am living, not letting others dictating my choices. I wanted independence.

After deciding what is important for you, cut the fluff. Your eyes and mind should be focused on what you want to succeed. Answering the question “Why it is important?”, certainly makes things easier. I was tired of all this negativity, the self-defeating grief. The pain was so strong that I could see nothing else. I wanted to escape mediocrity so badly that I stopped thinking about anything else and made it my top priority.

Have priorities

Now it is time to develop a plan. Separate your to do’s based on impact, not urgency. Giving focus on a task that will have a positive impact on the remaining tasks, will reduce the overall effort you need.

In my case, the catalyst was visiting a psychotherapist. Removing the mental blocks and healing wounds of the past greatly improved my performance. Self-confidence can do wonders for you.

A more practical approach, regarding my problem, was taking exams of related courses together and hiring a private tutor for the more important classes.

Just a minor step. You can do it!

You only need a minor step. Trust me, fear will sneak under the door, the moment you decide to try.

Please, make the f***ing step. The rest will follow.

Every person on earth will feel fear at some point. The braves and successful are the ones who decide to step on, despite that.

If at any moment you feel frozen like dead and unable to move forward, just imagine how it would be if you succeed.

How would it feel, overcoming your shortcomings and your self-sabotage? And now move. I promise you there is gold in the end.

I won’t forget the day I took the first exam after all this preparation. Fear had conquered all of my body. What I am doing here? This is not for me. I am not as smart as the others are. Failure is certain. But guess what… I did try. I stepped slowly in the classroom, took a seat while I was shaking. The exam questions were in my hands. My heart beating like crazy. Suddenly I realize that I had prepared well. I knew the answers to most questions. And I succeed. It was the first of many.

Believe in you. And find others that do

The magic begins to take effect. One step brings another and you are now building momentum. Self-doubt starts to fade. Somewhere deep inside you know you are already doing it. Now it is the best time to find companionship.

Search for a partner in anything you try to accomplish. It will make things way easier.

You will have someone to work on your problems together, create together, innovate together, evolve together, frustrate together, thrive together.

From right now neither of you will be fighting alone.

While trying to defeat my own demons, I met many guys and girls fighting theirs, I owe to them a lot. The pushed me when I thought it was enough, helping me explore my full potential. Everything would be different without them, reminding me, I am not alone, creating together a united force that would not stop on any obstacle. Guys, I owe you a huge thank you!

Enjoy it. But never let your guard down

After a while, you start feeling more confident. Your growth is obvious and you cannot stop feeling proud about it. It is all yours, you are doing it. But do not take it for granted.

You still need to put up the hard work, show up on your obligations, be the best you can be.

Taking a short break is a great idea. Recharging your batteries and allowing your mind to explore, will result in consistency and focus.

Just do not get too relaxed. The habits you have built are not strong yet. Repetition and consistency are crucial for you to succeed. So, again, focus on your target. Grow!

Do not forget to celebrate

There will be a time when you will not recognize yourself.

No feelings of failure, or pessimism. Your tasks are complete, the target is reached and you cannot help, but admiring yourself.

You know how success feels like, you have made it.

And you understand that the most important part was the journey.

The man or woman you became, in order to thrive.

It is time to celebrate. Do it please! And do not forget to put your heart in it. You deserve it. You always did.

Repeat

When the clatter fades, decide what next. Never stop improving. Always shoot for the stars.

Grow! You deserve it!

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Writing what I think and enjoying life. Full time Dev Ops Engineer, part time artist. My life is my art. Living in Kefalonia Greece.

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Serafeim Lamprou

Serafeim Lamprou

Writing what I think and enjoying life. Full time Dev Ops Engineer, part time artist. My life is my art. Living in Kefalonia Greece.

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